Helpful Others

The previous blog dealt with the role of other people in our life, and that they can help us to find our true identity and voice. How do they do it? And, how do I protect myself against the over-bearing/dominating individual who always wants to decide on your behalf?

The person I am talking about is one that can listen for hours if necessary. The feedback you receive is not emotional, but consequent and true. I have a few friends whose feedback I can trust. We see one another only two of three times a year, but I know I can trust their feedback. Their feedback is grounded in the things we talk about and share.

The helpful other person is one that can directly or indirectly open our eyes for new possibilities through his or her own life experiences, through the stories and through experiences we share. For this to happen it is important that I will allow them to be, and to spend time with them – or in other words be mindful when I am in their presence. It is the awareness not the number of minutes that determines their contribution. The helpful individual is also one that is interested in my stories and experiences and allow me to wrap off onto him or her.

To be truly aware and mindful requires that you are clear about your boundaries. Where will you allow the other person to enter? Boundaries define a safe space for you to be secure and creative. You can invite persons or events in, or exclude them. Within your boundaries, you are in control.


Something you can do this week is to identify three or four helpful individuals in your life and identify their feedback. Remember, their feedback is only their perspectives, it forms the background for your photo.